were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've blown a few things in my day
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
