Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
