i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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