I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
