Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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