apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
