The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
