i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
