i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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