I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
