I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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