i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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