You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
then he tried to convert me to islam
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
