Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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