speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
