if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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