is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
