I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
