Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
the raccoons are back...
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