i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
