oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
