erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
and you fell through a lawn chair
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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