A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
