i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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