i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
