he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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