Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
