She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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