Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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