i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm getting married
To pizza
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
