He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i now understand why vodka
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
