not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
