What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
last night I used snow as a chaser
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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