the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
