Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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