I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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