Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
