I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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