Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
