i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
and she was petting her beer can
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
