I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
