Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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