Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
