sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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