okay pat passed out under dana's car
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
