Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
