Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
