I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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