So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
