if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
