Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
