I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
